Clone Trooper/AT-AT (Star Wars Transformers)

Why Did You Buy That Toy?
I know it's a Transformer, but really that's incidental. I just wanted an AT-AT toy. The AT-AT is awesome. It's a giant lumbering walking tank that looks impressive but in real life would be the most impractical vehicle ever. It's like a motor home on stilts if someone then attached machine guns to it. Would you like to ride a motor home balancing on stilts? I wouldn't. But the damned thing looks like a lumbering metal animal and I love it for that reason.

Any regrets?
Well it transforms into an AT-AT pilot, but that mode looks like crap. It's a pain in the ass to transform too. So my plan is to pretty much keep it in AT-AT mode and just pretend it's a model.

Are you Satisfied with your purchase?
Yes. Because as an AT-AT model it's really neat. The legs move and everything. Seriously, the "robot mode" is crap. Look at this thing. It looks like someone decided to make a cyborg but gave up about half way through. Now the legs that look amazing on an AT-AT look like scrawny chicken legs. Bleah.

Batman & Batgirl (Microman)

You know, I'm pretty sure that the guy I bought this from on e-bay swapped out the Batman figure with the single-card Batman. But I like this one better, so, meh.

Why did I buy this toy?
Because I wanted a 3.75" Batman but not the Infinite Heroes one. I'm more than a little disappointed by the limited articulation of the Infinite Heroes figures. So when I remembered they made a Microman Batman with the whopping 30+ points of articulation I decided to go on e-bay and get one. The best deal was in a 2-pack with Batgirl, who I wouldn't mind getting for an okay price, and a Catwoman package, so score.

Any regrets?
Yeah, that I didn't buy that $5 Chun-Li Microman when I had the choice. I also wish that Batman's cape had the same hinge as Batgirl's. (There's a hinge at the top of the cape which allows the cape to be bent at a 90 degree angle.) Action figure capes and they're immobility have always been a pet peeve of mine.

Am I happy with my purchase?
Extremely. The figures have an amazing amount of articulation. (Batgirl's hair also has a hinge to allow the simulation of her hair blowing behind her as she's running.) And they're perfectly in scale with the Marvel Universe figures. The bonus hands also allow a lot of play value. I really like the Mircroman toys now. If they weren't so expensive (import toys) I'd get a bunch more of them. I can't wait to open the Catwoman Microman.

Banshee (Marvel Legends)

Sometimes even a great deal will have you feeling that you wasted your money

Why did I buy that?

Good friend Mario found this on clearance while out toy-hunting. Banshee here was part of the inaugural wave of Marvel Legends after Hasbro took over the master Marvel Comics toy license from Toy Biz. That wave caome out at the start of 2007, so this figure has been hanging around for a while. I really only wanted it because it contained a Build-A-Figure piece of the Fantastic Four villain Annihilus, so I figured $2.50 was a fair price to pay.

Any regrets?

Boy, was I wrong about that. Hasbro totally half-assed this figure. Banshee here reuses a body first introduced with the Bullseye figure years ago, now with a new head, new paint, and removable bits of cloth that plug into holes on his arms and legs to make him look spiffy. Problem is they didn't bother to make his new head look like it belonged on the body. It's too big and sits too far away, giving him a long-necked appearance. As a result it's almost impossible to pose this figure in a way that looks cool; what you see in the picture above is the best I could manage without having him crouch really low. Since he's missing his standard disco-collar as featured in the comics, you're left with a bland base body, which coupled with the ridiculous head on top and some cheap-looking cloth add-ons results in a very underwhelming total package. About the only thing that's really cool about the figure is that the joints are ratcheted to prevent articulation from becoming loose due to repeated use.

Am I happy?

No; this figure is lame. For a long while I figured Banshee was a peg-warmer because people weren't a fan of the character, but now I understand too clearly what a disappointment it is. Yeah, I ultimately bought this figure to get a step closer to completing Annihilus, but Hasbro could've stuck him with something more enticing and essential, like the character's leg or torso. Instead, Banshee comes with . . . a wing. So now I have an Annihilus with no head and one obscenely large wing, plus a Banshee figure I have no need for. Goddammit . . .

Cobra Para-Viper (GI Joe 25th Anniversary)

Ever since I saw a picture of this figure in a Hasbro product catalogue a few months ago, I knew I had to get it. I haven't technically bought it yet; I can't really buy action figures at the moment (stupid economy . . .) so my friend Mario got it for me with the understanding that I'd pay him back in the future. It's definitely worth the seven or eight dollars I'll eventually reimburse him for, though.

This figure's design is so delightfully busy. I have no idea what the base body is, since strapped and glued to the figure are a helmet, breathing tubes, a huge parachute pack, flight gear, knee and forearm pads, ammo clips, a knife holster, swimming fins (on the back of his shins), wind vanes on the lower arms, and a goddamn wristwatch. I could stare at this figure for hours just marvelling at the details. I haven't tried taking off much of figure's gear, but the goggles that sit atop the head are definitely removable. The knife appears to be glued into the sheath on the right leg, though. Don't pull too hard.

Given this is a GI Joe figure, accessories are a big deal. Aside from the now-standard figure base, the Para-Viper includes two guns. The smaller rifle is cool, but the larger rifle is what's really impressive. The stock folds up, and the sniper stand and the magazine are removable! Don't lose them!

The only thing that bugs me about this figure is something that plagues much of 25th Anniversary Series (well, the only major thing, since I also think the arm vanes look pretty stupid--but not the swmming fins glued to the legs, though!). The series has a scale that veers closer to an even four inches instead of the standard 3.75" scale, so the Cobra Para-Viper towers over most of my GI Joe figures. Still, it's really not that big a deal, since it is a really, really cool figure.

Batman (Infinite Heroes)

Why did I buy that toy?

Because he's the goddamn Batman.

Even if you don't get that well-worn Internet meme, you have to understand that Batman is one of the most ubiquitous pop culture figures ever, and like any right-thinking fan of comics/film/animation/stories were criminals get the crap kicked out of them, I like the Batman character a hell of a lot. And with a character as iconic as Batman, you got a source for literally hundreds of different takes on the character in action figure form. However, there have been surprisingly few plain Batman figures to choose from over the years, so getting straightforward basic Batman in a new scale is a treat. And even though most of the initial images of the Infinite Heroes line that I saw left me cold, I knew I had to at least get that Batman figure, which looked excellent.

Any regrets?

Sure it's the same basic body shared by who knows how many Infinite Heroes figures (I for one already possessed it in the form of DCIH Captain Marvel), but the tooling makes it looks like this figure was what the mold was originally intended for. Comparing Batman and Captain Marvel, Batman just looks so much better, and not at all like an awkward mish-mash of accoutrements, unlike the other figure. Still, like other figures that share this body, his hands are a tad oversized; it's not really noticable if you have him in a punching pose, but if his arms are just hanging down it does look awkward.

The biggest problem is the cape. I don't mind that it's molded plastic; I like how it looks. However, the lower edges are swept back, and this plus the weight of the cape make it hard to stand the figure. I want my Batman to be imposing, and he can't really do that if he's staring at pennies on the floor so he doesn't tip face-forward.

Also, this is just a minor problem with my figure, but there's a little grey showing through at the neck that's supposed to be black to match the glued-on cape. It's not glaring, but I hope this isn't a problem with most figures.

Am I happy with my purchase?

God yes. Yeah, I knew going in that the figure looks great, but I didn't realize how much having a 3.75" scale Batman would excite me. I've had this for about a month, and I still pick it up randomly throughout the day just to mess around it. Having a Batman that is the same size as my Star Wars, G.I. Joe, and Indiana Jones figures is five kinds of awesome. You can bet I already tried putting the figure in a Hasbro Jedi Starfighter (it looks cool, but the cape keeps it from fitting inside the cockpit perfectly). Even without the scale benefits, the figure is just fun to mess around with, with decent, useful articulation and great sculpting that makes it look cool in just about any pose. If you pick up an Infinite Heroes figure and don't have a character preference, this should be the first one you get.

Captain Sisko & Gul Dukat minimates

Because it's Captain Sisko. Gul Dukat is neat, but damnit, I think Sisko's the most awesome Captain in Starfleet. You don't f- with the Sisko or he will f- you right up. And now he's in minimate form, one of my favorite toy forms ever.



There's actually a variant of this sisko, Commaner Sisko. But they gave him button eyes so he looks like a mix between Sisko & an animal from Bambi. It's kinda disconcerting. Plus Commander Sisko wasn't as awesome as Captain Sisko, who, as stated previous, would f- your sh- up if he felt it was the right thing to do.


Besides, this completes my line of "Awesome Star Trek Captains in minimate form."



They've already made Pike, who is pretty much only memorable as being the guy Kirk replaced and sitting in that box while beeping once for yes. And I don't give a damn if they never make a Janeway. Does anyone? Oh right, and Scott Bacula.

Red Tornado & Red Tornado (DC Minimates)

I pretty much got these guys just to fill out my DC Minimates collection. I don't really care about the Ma Hunkel Red Tornado (she wore a pot on her head) or the Justice League Red Tornado. I did like the latter in "Young Justice" but since there will never be a Superboy or Impulse minimate it doesn't matter.

But they were on sale and they helped fill out my order so I could be eligible for free shipping. So at least they did that.