My Life As... Vending Machine & Karaoke Machine

I might be in dangerous waters. Today while I was wandering around Wal-Mart, contemplating if I should get the new Harry Potter 12 inch fashion dolls that aren’t Barbie, but it’s Mattel so it’s totally Barbie, I saw the pallet of new stock boxes and looked through it. There’s some talking plush toy called “Fake News” which I’m super worried is a plush Donald Trump... but also: My Life As Vending Machine.

As far as I know, My Life As is Wal-Marts discount version of American Girls. But whereas I completely ignored American Girls, the complex and mundane accessories they put out for My Life As always intrigued me. Like their Washer & Dryer set that actually tumbled clothes. Or their fully functional water fountain. And since I love me some toy vending machines, I asked a store associate if I could get this.... also the box labeled Karaoke Machine...

I haven’t opened it, but by trying out the electronics and looking at the box description, this is a fully functioning vending machine. You have to put in the right amount of toy coins and it will bend your desired product that you stock the machine with. So holy crap, that’s some great role playing potential right there! You know you’ve always sorta wanted to stock a vending machine to see what it was like. Maybe put the wrong can in the wrong spot and watch the hijinks. Pretty good value for $30.

Oh, and the karaoke machine... oh god. It connects to any Bluetooth device and the microphone really works, which means this isn’t a toy karaoke machine, it’s and actual karaoke machine that they just made in miniature. 

I think I love these. And since these are coming out a bunch of the other accessories are on clearance! I might go all in on this line... for my niece... when she gets old enough... She can come over and play with them... I should buy her one of the dolls. I wonder if they come in Asian.

Star Wars Epic Battles Medals

Anyone else participate in the Toys R Us epic battles online game? I passed during the Christmas season because I really didn't need to play another online game. Then they brought it back to get rid of the extra medals and I decide to try it. Turns out it's just a Where's Waldo type hidden picture and you only need to find 5 things to get the certificate you trade in for the medal at the store. So really this was more a hunt for a location that still had all the medals.

Can't beat free.

Borderlands 2 Swag-filled Limited Edition Diamond Plate Loot Chest

What a long ass name for this product. Basically, it's a replica of a Loot Chest from the Borderland game filled with various Borderlands memorabilia. You've got some trading cards and a mask of a Borderlands baddie, all of which have codes that can be entered in the game to unlock those items in the game. Which is pretty cool since the drop ratio of those items in the game naturally is about 0.05%. I actually got one of the guns once, but a power failure corrupted my save file and it was lost forever.

 Other items inside the chest include wanted posters for all the Borderlands 2 playable characters (including the DLC ones, which the previous chest did not). There's also some pretty neat crumpled up newspaper pages that act as packaging materials but you quickly realize are even more bonus content, since they're actually from a newspaper written by characters in the game. Also, some window decals.

The chest itself is pretty solid. Which is good, because the cost for the whole package is $100. If this was some flimsy plastic (like the mask) I'd be pretty  pissed. But this thing could probably survive a few drops and I wouldn't mind using it as a toy chest for some collection or other.

Even cooler: the box the chest comes from simulates an in-game shipping box with additional jokes scrawled over it by various characters. It's pretty great.

Razor Scooter

So at the San Jose toy show I found something awesome in one of the 50 cent bins. This Razor Scooter. Toy sized. I assume it's in the same vein as Flick Trix and those tiny skateboards the kids are into.

But this, this I wanted because it was 50 cents and I wondered what toy lines it would be in scale with. So I ended up with this picture.

Crayon Rings

Seen at Target. If you feel comfortable carving wax then instant Green Lantern accessories.

Batman Fingerboard

Fingerboards are silly. But you know what can make them less silly? Nothing.

But if you put Batman on one it becomes a kind of silly I'd be willing to buy a happy meal to get. Particularly if its Young Justice Batman. Now, I haven't watched much of the show, but what I've seen has made Batman look awesome, primarily by not being told from the point of view of Batman but instead of people who are in awe of Batman.

Bane Mask

Okay, is it weird that I want everyone to get the Halloween Bane mask and add it to whatever their costume was going to be. Ballerina Bane! Cowboy Bane! Wizard Bane! Sexy Nurse Bane! Batman Bane!

EVERYONE IS BANE! 

Vacation window shopping

I went on vacation last week. Here's some of the stuff I didn't buy.

I was sorely tempted to get Elvis a Pegasus to ride, but I realized I could buy one of these sets any time. No need to waste precious luggage space by buying it on vacation.

Hey, they made a Hobo Superman costume.

They had Transformers at Universal Studios because of the Transformers 3D ride. They cost $10 more than they do in regular retail stores.

Although I was tempted to get the exclusive EVAC figure. Evac is a character created for the ride, he's basically the car you ride in. I love when they do figures for this kind of exclusive character, but $25 was too much to pay for a novelty.

I was tempted to get this POP! vinyl figure of Gonzo, but I just had to pass.

I also went to Downtown Disney (not Disneyland itself) and the Disney store there sold all the theme park exclusive figures. Of the "Disney Characters as Star Wars" figures they had, the one I considered getting was this 3 pack of the Duck Nephews as Jawas. They even come with pars of an R2 unit. But in the end I decided that it wasn't worth the $25 considering their insanely limited articulation. I dunno, maybe if they were in scale with regular Star Wars figures I'd be more interested, but the issue is moot.

Justin Bieber Concert Tour Onstage Playset

Before you go and get the wrong idea, let me explain that I bought this playset for the accessories because it turns out, perfect for 1:6 scale action figures. As far as I'm concerned the part where I end up buying a Justin Bieber doll is a necessary evil. But for a cheap fashion doll it's pretty well constructed. It has rooted hair with enough paste/glue in it to hold its shape while giving it a natural appearance. It's surprisingly well articulated too, not great, 12 points of articulation, but much better than some Mattel figures. Hell, the hips, ankles and shoulders are ball and lever joints. If there were wrist joints of any sort I'd call this a success in the 1:6 scale, but as it is, the figure is just pretty good..

But enough about Bieber. (And holy crap I wrote more about him than I thought I would.) Let's talk about the accessories. You get the microphone and heart shaped scaffolding seat, which I guess is from his concert show, but more importantly you get a bunch of 1:6 scale instruments.

A Keyboard! A acoustic guitar! A drum set! with chair! Okay, sure the drums display a Justin Bieber logo, but that's easily fixed with a piece of construction paper. Besides, the drums even feature a kick pedal. You can't see it because it's on the back. But the point is, now any of my 1:6 scale figures can be musicians! And that's great!

Comic Book Club - Ghoulia Yelps

No, I haven't picked up any Monster High figures yet. I just bought this clothing pack.

Why? Because it has the accessories from the SDCC Monster High exclusive Cosplay Ghoulia Yelps figure. If you remember, that set featured the Zombie girl dressed up like her favorite Zombie Superhero "Deadfast" and featured her geek accessories of an original fan-fic, an action figure, and a swag bag.

Well this clothing pack expands on that idea, and has Ghoulia's clothing for when she's part of the Comic Book Club. (It's part of the theme of Extra-Curicular Activities clothing sets.) It features her t-shirt with comic book logo on it, an action figure of Deadfast in scale to the line complete with removable card so you can pretend Ghoulia collects MIB or is an open and play collector,  a comic book of Deadfast, and clothing that I assume is color coordinated as a fashion conscious zombie who is into comic books can be. So, you know, geek pride and all that.

Oh hey, they made a cartoon about it featuring Ghoulia fantasizing about being a superhero at Leper-Con.



Whoops, now I'm just watching these things for the fun of it. They made the Abominable Snowgirl into a Eastern European cold hearted Uber-woman, complete with over the top Soviet style deep pitched accent. And the Phantom of the Opera/Banshee's a rockabilly girl from New Orleans with tattoos and a Swing Dance sense of style. Hilarious. Monster High: Getting young girls indocrinated to counterculture.

HOLY CRAP, one of the characters is a living lifesize Voodoo Doll of another student. So every time he gets hurt the other student gets hurt! That's genius!

And I'm beginning to really love the synergy of the cartoon in the way that any new character, accessory set, or dress theme is eventually shown in the cartoon. Sleepover themed dolls? They have a sleepover. One of the doll is dressed for gym? And episode where they wear gym clothes. Hell, even the Build-Your Own monster figures are featured in background shots.

Tomar Re Halloween Costume

Oh god! Kill it! Kill it with fire!

Incidentally, I would love it if despite what we've seen in the trailers, when Tomar Re appears in the new Green Lantern movie it's just Geoffrey Rush wearing this costume.

Buyer's Remorse: Fake Poop edition

So hey, fake poop for a $1 at Target. But to keep it or not to keep it? It's only $1. I spend more on that on a candy bar. But that's a $1 I can spend on Green Lantern toys. And as Ben Franklin once said, "Dipshit, save your money so you can spend it on better things."

But on the keep it side of the argument, it makes a squeak noise when you squeeze it.

10th Doctor's Sonic Screwdriver & 11th Doctor's Sonic Screwdriver

They're both fun, but if you have to choose between them, go for the 11th Doctor's screwdriver. It has more action features, is more fun to play with, the light that is activated is green instead of purple and so looks more unworldly, and the sounds it makes are more varied. Whereas the 10th Doctor's screwdriver extends by pushing the inner tube up, the 11th Doctor's is a press a button unlock a spring loaded transformation which feels more "sci-fi" for some reason.

The only real advantage that the 10th Doctor's screwdriver has over the 11th's is that the 10th Doctor's screwdriver doubles as a pen, and comes with an invisible ink nib that can be switched out and seen using the light up feature. The light in the 10th Doctor's screwdriver is a UV light, so go while if you want a weak blacklight on a stick.

Claw Mania

It was only a matter of time before I got my own Claw Game. I've been into the arcade classic since the Mexican Grocery Store near my College Apartment had one which included a claw with a strong grip. Seriously after winning every other game, you begin to fancy yourself a pretty good claw game aficionado.

Fortunately this cheap plastic version was $10 at Tuesday Morning. (Discount Store ala Ross or TJMaxx, except they focus on tacky housewares.) It's pretty good, the claw mechanism is adequate, although the space is rather small. That actually makes it harder, since the claw is often times to large to get in the position you want it to, or the mechanisms that allow movement don't quite reach everywhere. So there's still some skill/luck involved.

There's a start button that you press which causes some carnival music to play. You use 2 levers to control the claw. One controls the direction of the claw, the other raises and lowers the claw. The claw is set up so that it opens when it is lowered and snaps closed when you raise it up again. You can raise and lower the claw as often as you want, but after a period of time the music stops and the claw freezes up. You can press the start button to continue, but your turn is up. The machine also stops if you open the claw over the prize chute (under the idea that you've successfully grabbed a prize). The machine toots out a little jingle and locks up so your turn is over. To go again you've got to press the start button on the machine.

You add the prizes through a small porthole in the back. You can't put anything really large in there, but that's fine, since the claw can't pick up much. There's a moveable piece of plastic that swings aside to give you access to the hole.

The only REAL downside is that it requires 3 D batteries to work. D batteries? Who the hell makes something for D batteries? Well, aside from Maglites.

But overall, this is pretty damn cool. I can't wait to get more prizes to put in this thing and invite people over to try their hand at winning something. The only question is how awesome of a prize do I want to put in there? Just bits of candy and party favors OR do I want to put Lego Minifigs and minimates in there?

Arcade Prizes

Hey look, it's some crap I won at an arcade by exchanging my tickets and the tickets given to me by a dude who didn't give a crap!

Let's see what we've got.

A plush Octopus keychain by Russ, the stuffed animal juggernaut company.

A plastic Indian from one of the hilariously out of date and completely historically inaccurate Cowboys and Indian themed plastic figures.

A toy spider that is sure to eventually to cause me to mistake it for a real one someday during a night when I'm not wearing my glasses.

A small plastic lizard which is pretty neat.

An toy ice cream cone that fires its foam "ice cream" when you press a small lever. "Would you like a lick from my obviously fake ice cream?" BOP! Ha! Fooled you!

One of those rubber cup things that you turn inside out and then place it on a table so it snaps back, causing it to be propelled into the air for a few seconds.

The end.

Pac Man Tag Game

Did you know that Wendy's has Pac-Man toys in their kid's meal until April? I found out the other day so at lunch I drove to my local Wendy's and got some. I didn't find out until after I bought the kid's meal that you can also just buy the toy's for a buck. But whatever, I needed lunch anyway.

I didn't get them all, because quite frankly I didn't want them all, so here's one I did get: The Pac Man Tag Game. I don't actually care about using these game pieces to play tag, or Pac Tag, which is pretty much a 4-person tag game where whoever is "it" gets to hold onto the Pac Man game piece. (There's an included booklet that explains the rules to Pac Man Tag and also a weird hide and seek variation where the three ghost players try to find and tag Pac Man.) No, I wanted them because the game pieces of Pac Man, Inky, Blinky and Clyde can all double as key chains. Noot good keychains mind you, the images are stickers attached with cheap cardboard placed in the plastic frame. But for cheap kids meal toys they'll do. My plan is to use them as decorative wall hangings.

Tricorder

I had one of these when they first came out. I found it recently hidden in some corner of my old room when I visited my parents' house. It had a horrible case of battery crust on it, so I had to toss it.

So onto e-bay we go to pick up a new one! Hooray for e-bay. This sucker is awesome. I love the sounds it makes. Just like the tricorders on Star Trek: The Next Generation. Whee!

Nostalgia!

Iron Man Mask

I'll tell you the truth, I'm surprised by how much I like this mask. I originally bought it because it's a cool looking mask that is molded in a way that I can wear it while wearing my glasses, but I love it because it's a cool looking mask that is molded in a way that I can wear it while wearing my glasses. I'm pretty easy to impress when it comes to masks. Also, it was sold in the toy aisle at Target, so it counts for this blog.

Sure it's meant for kids, but it pretty much fits me and it was reasonably inexpensive. Win!

Archie McPhee Surprise Bag, pt. 4

Let's finish this sucker up!

Parasite Pals stationary and grooming supplies: Your guess is as good as mine really. Parasite Pals are cute animal mascots based on paraistes, as you would assume. I don't know if that adds anything to their stationary or in the case of Dig Dug, a comb and mirror set.

I would have paid: $0.50 for each

Parasite Pals Valentine's Day Cards: This on the other hand is my cup of tea. Valentine's day cards which feature puns about love and being sucked of your blood by small creatures. It is awesome.

I would have paid: $3

Prize bags: Imagine these as being cracker jack prizes. Slightly larger cracker jack prizes. My friend opened one of these and got a cheap plastic pan flute and a cheap plastic model plane. The other bags include similar cheap dime store prizes. I opened a couple and got the following.

A plastic model of a seal and...

A drumming strawberry figure. I like this one just for the "WHAT IN THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE!" value.

I would have paid: $0.05 per bag. I didn't count the bags but let's say that for the lot I would have paid $2.00

That brings the complete total of value that I would assign this Surprise Bag as $39.50 Would I be tempted to get another one of these? Sorely. The surprise element actually is worth maybe a few more bucks, but if I had to be honest, I would never even think of buying a lot of this stuff if I saw it in a store or catalog. That said, the stuff I would buy, that would probably cost me $30 or $40 to acquire, so I don't know if the surprise bag was truly worth it.

If I can give the crap I really don't want away as gifts to appreciative people, then yes.

Archie McPhee Surprise Bag, pt. 2

Continuing on with out tour... if that's the right word... of the surprise bag of Archie McPhee (the retail arm of Accoutrements) merchandise.

Novelty Pennant flags: I really like the Chess Club one. Quick bit of trivia, I was president of Chess Club in high school. Mostly because nobody else wanted the job. So I kind of identify with that one. As for the Assistant Manager flag, I like the joke but since I'm not an assistant manager, and don't know anyone that is, I don't feel comfortable flying that one anywhere or giving it as a gift.


I Would have Paid: Chess Club Flag - $1.50, Assistant Manager Flag: $1.00



Seven Deadly Sins Silicon Wristbands: Odd that they only sent out Greed and Gluttony. Both sins I indulge in, I'm sorry to say. And really, two of the Gluttony? I guess that makes sense, since you would be a glutton if you took two... or is that Greed? Kind of cool. I don't know if I'd wear them, but I can see giving them out as gifts. And if I did wear one it'd probably be something like this.


I would have paid: $0.75 each.

I have no idea what the hell this is and I don't like it at all. Each picture is one of the 52 cards in a deck, but it also has no perforations or instructions for cutting. All of Asian people from old Kung-fu Period movies.... I'm a little offended. But mostly by the fact that I got this when I hate it so damn much.

I would have paid: $0

Novelty Swizzle Sticks. I'm not entirely sure what swizzle sticks are meant to be used for other than some sort of cocktail decoration. But since these are of pink poodles and pink elephants, I do appreciate the kitsch value a little.

I would have paid: $0.50 each

Chum flavored mint candy: Seriously. It's kind of gross but I do want to try it. Just to see, you know. And then I want to make all my friends try it.

I would have paid: $0.50 each.

That brings my attributed value of this jusnk to: $9.50

Next we're going to do the action figures, which should bring the total up fairly high.