Break Room with Pat

I don't know when it was that I got into the Cubes line of action figures, but I've had a tendency to buy them and not open them. But no longer. The Cubes are 3 inch scale figures that are of office drones. They each come with a cubicle and accessories depicting the world of a generic office. The kind that was in the movie Office Space. Or Dilbert.

Let's start with Pat, who comes with the Cubes break room. After the initial offering of interchangeable cubicles, set 5 (this one) began showing other depressing parts of the corporate office world. Like the break room. Seen here with a water cooler and whatnot. I love this stuff. I've worked in places like this. I've seen the bulletin board with the minimum wage information. I've seen the donuts.

Look, clearly the figures aren't that impressive, but holy hell those accessories are awesome. Where else other than Playmobil are you going to get a 3 inch scale coffee pot? That I can then try to wedge into Captain Kirk's hand?

Lil' Ludwig Van Beethoven

You remember Lil' Ludwig from my big Accoutrement Toys bag from way back? Sure you do. Well he's a three inch figure, a scale I'm slowly building an appreciation for thanks to Playmobil and-

HE BRINGS YOU A SYMPHONY OF PAIN!

YOUR CRIES FOR MERCY FALL ON DEAF EARS!!

Lil Edgar Allan Poe

Obviously Lil Edgar, part of Accoutrements Toys Lil Genius line, is based on Edgar Allan Poe. This is rad because Edgar Allan Poe basically created the mystery genre, popularized horror literature, is arguably the greatest American writer of all time, and wrote some of the greatest literature ever.

He was also the subject of one of the best songs from the Broadway musical Snoopy, which was then adapted to an animated television special. The best song from Snoopy is probably "Just One Person," but Edgar Allan Poe has the benefit of actually teaching people while using a catchy tune. EDUTAINMENT!



Where was I? Oh yeah, they made an Edgar Allan Poe mini-figure!

The reason I like these "Lil" figures is that they're in scale with so many mini-figures. Which leads to all sorts of hijinks that Edgar Allan Poe can take part in.

Archie McPhee Surprise Bag, pt. 4

Let's finish this sucker up!

Parasite Pals stationary and grooming supplies: Your guess is as good as mine really. Parasite Pals are cute animal mascots based on paraistes, as you would assume. I don't know if that adds anything to their stationary or in the case of Dig Dug, a comb and mirror set.

I would have paid: $0.50 for each

Parasite Pals Valentine's Day Cards: This on the other hand is my cup of tea. Valentine's day cards which feature puns about love and being sucked of your blood by small creatures. It is awesome.

I would have paid: $3

Prize bags: Imagine these as being cracker jack prizes. Slightly larger cracker jack prizes. My friend opened one of these and got a cheap plastic pan flute and a cheap plastic model plane. The other bags include similar cheap dime store prizes. I opened a couple and got the following.

A plastic model of a seal and...

A drumming strawberry figure. I like this one just for the "WHAT IN THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE!" value.

I would have paid: $0.05 per bag. I didn't count the bags but let's say that for the lot I would have paid $2.00

That brings the complete total of value that I would assign this Surprise Bag as $39.50 Would I be tempted to get another one of these? Sorely. The surprise element actually is worth maybe a few more bucks, but if I had to be honest, I would never even think of buying a lot of this stuff if I saw it in a store or catalog. That said, the stuff I would buy, that would probably cost me $30 or $40 to acquire, so I don't know if the surprise bag was truly worth it.

If I can give the crap I really don't want away as gifts to appreciative people, then yes.

Archie McPhee Surprise Bag, pt. 3

Okay, let's get to the part that can generously be called: The only reason I thought it might be worth it to buy the surprise pack. That's the novelty action figures that Archie McPhee sells.

Li'L Ludwig and Li'L Wolfgang: Part of the Li'L genius series. I'm more tempted by the first series which featured writers, but I think those are out of stock. These guys are pretty neat though. Minifigures based on famous composers. And ones I can recognize and sort of respect. The likeness isn't something you'd get right away, but I think they're striking in their own right. Plus I can now say I own a Beethoven figure.

I would have paid: $2.50 each.

Cubes Corporate Protester and Motivational Speaker: I don't own that many of the Cubes action figures, but I really like the concept behind them. Basically you get a small minifigure dressed like an office drone and accessories that you can use to make a work cubicle complete with bad posters and office scenery. These two guys are part of the expanion packs so you can fill your office with more workers and office archetypes. I've actually wanted the Motivational Speaker for quite a while and have been eyeing the Corporate Protester, partially because I'm pretty sure their accessories would be in scale with the PALZ figures I've accumulated. So big excitement that both of these guys are in this surprise bag.

I would have paid: $5 for the Motivational Speaker, $3.50 for the Corporate Protester.

Casanova Action Figure: Here's the thing about the Accoutrements action figures, they're not very good. The articulation is limited, the accessories don't actually fit in their hands, and the likeness is varied in accuracy. They mostly get by based on the novelty value of someone making an action figure of either a historical figure or a mundane occupation. In essence they're ironic action figures, except for people who are really into a certain subject will buy a lot of them. (Librarians around the country LOVE the Librarian action figure. Seriously, go to any library and there's a 75% chance that someone on staff will own one and a 60% chance that they've displayed it in the office.)

The other side of that is that if you have no interest in the subject matter, if you don't care that they made an action figure of the subject, then these action figures have very little value. Which is how I feel about Casanova.

I would have paid: $1.50

Wagner Action Figure: I work with someone who has this displayed at work. I know that the conductor's wand doesn't stay in his hand unless you glue it in. So this thing was certainly made to be displayed in package. I dig it more than the Casanova figure, but only because I like classical music to some degree.

I would have paid: $2.00

Skydiving Freud Figure: Now we're talking. One: I know and sort of admire Sigmund Freud. Two: I find it hilarious that there's an action figure of him, especially one that they then strapped into a parachute harness. Three: The likeness is actually kind of good.

I would have paid: $6

So that brings my total assessed value to: $32.50. That mean's we're over the $25 cost of the bag, and even covers the shipping costs. So that's cool. One last part to this series then.

Archie McPhee Surprise Bag, pt. 2

Continuing on with out tour... if that's the right word... of the surprise bag of Archie McPhee (the retail arm of Accoutrements) merchandise.

Novelty Pennant flags: I really like the Chess Club one. Quick bit of trivia, I was president of Chess Club in high school. Mostly because nobody else wanted the job. So I kind of identify with that one. As for the Assistant Manager flag, I like the joke but since I'm not an assistant manager, and don't know anyone that is, I don't feel comfortable flying that one anywhere or giving it as a gift.


I Would have Paid: Chess Club Flag - $1.50, Assistant Manager Flag: $1.00



Seven Deadly Sins Silicon Wristbands: Odd that they only sent out Greed and Gluttony. Both sins I indulge in, I'm sorry to say. And really, two of the Gluttony? I guess that makes sense, since you would be a glutton if you took two... or is that Greed? Kind of cool. I don't know if I'd wear them, but I can see giving them out as gifts. And if I did wear one it'd probably be something like this.


I would have paid: $0.75 each.

I have no idea what the hell this is and I don't like it at all. Each picture is one of the 52 cards in a deck, but it also has no perforations or instructions for cutting. All of Asian people from old Kung-fu Period movies.... I'm a little offended. But mostly by the fact that I got this when I hate it so damn much.

I would have paid: $0

Novelty Swizzle Sticks. I'm not entirely sure what swizzle sticks are meant to be used for other than some sort of cocktail decoration. But since these are of pink poodles and pink elephants, I do appreciate the kitsch value a little.

I would have paid: $0.50 each

Chum flavored mint candy: Seriously. It's kind of gross but I do want to try it. Just to see, you know. And then I want to make all my friends try it.

I would have paid: $0.50 each.

That brings my attributed value of this jusnk to: $9.50

Next we're going to do the action figures, which should bring the total up fairly high.

Archie McPhee Surprise Bag, Pt. 1

Let's go through the Archie McPhee Surprise Bag I bought recently. If you'll recall, I spent $25 on it. What's going to happen is that I'm going to go through it all and give a running tally on what I would have been willing to pay for it. Then we'll see if it was worth it.

TiKi Tape: cute pun. It's just packing tape with a design on it. Very meh for me. I thought about giving this away as a gift.

I would have paid: $0.50

Baby Shower Catapult toy: launches tiny babies at people. I don't know if it's supposed to inspire fertility or mock it. Although somehow the idea of chucking baby corpses at people seems kinda wrong.

I would have paid: $1.00

Cowgirl Coasters: Not really my thing, kinda kitch I guess. However I did give this away as a gift to someone who REALLY was digging them. So that's cool.

I would have paid: $0.50

Love Pirate heart shaped eye-patches: Again, adorable. I never would have purchased two of these, but two of them I got. I guess you could put them over both eyes and be doubly blind. Or if you wanted to do a Jubei-Chan anime cosplay this would be useful.

I would have paid: $0.50 each, might have done a 2 for $1.00 deal.

So at the end of Day one, we're looking at $3.00 of attributed value.

Surprise Bag

You're probably aware of Accoutrements Toys. They're a novelty company that makes novelty items like the Bacon Bandaids. Or better known for novelty toys like the Jesus Action Figure, the Einstein Action Figure, or the zombie PVC figures. You can usually buy their toys through various stores that sell novelty stuff such as the impulse aisle in a book store, your local joke shop, or a gift shop which includes some "wacky" items.

Or you can buy them direct from the company's retail division, Archie McPhee. Which is what I did when I bought a Surprise Bag. They proclaim it holds a variety of items from their store totally $125 in merchandise.

Here's what was inside it.

Now my question to you is this... Should I do individual posts for only the toys found in the bag, for everything in the bag, or just do one mega post exploring everything?