Femme Fatales Series 2

I love the disparate idea of combining the minimate body and sexiness. Somehow trying to create curves and sexiness on a block seems... well it seems to imply the worst about mankind. Like Halloween costumes for women and girls that are a little to obviously sexified for no reason other than the increased bimboization of the female image. And yet here we are with the Femme Fatale Series of minimates, minimates designed to be "sexy." The result is a hilarious disaster, so let's watch the train wreck.

Now the first two are supposed to be a sexy Alice in Wonderland and a sexy modern interpretation of Red Riding Hood. They're actually pretty generic and not to different than a dozen other interpretations of both characters, except that they're placed on the blocky body of a minimate and thus look ridiculous. But then we get to some new characters in the Minimate MAX Pirate line of Calico Jack's Pirate Raiders. One is Medusa, who has been changed from a gorgon to some sort of Siren. She doesn't turn people to stone, she just has sea based magic powers and is angry at Jack for not avoiding her seduction.... WHY THE HELL DO YOU NEED TO HAVE HER BE MEDUSA?! The other character is Anne Bonnie, based on the real Anne Bonnie, one of the few women ever convicted of being a pirate. She was also the real Calico Jack's lover and avoided being executed by being pregnant when she was caught. Oh yeah, and she also joined up with Jack by leaving her husband and killing a bunch of people. But instead Diamond has her rocking the "Sexy Pirate" look you see on a half dozen sorority girls every Halloween.

Magog

If you had told me a decade ago that they would make a Magog action figure as part of the DCUC line I would have thought you were an idiot. Magog was a one note character from the 1996 Kingdom Come miniseries where he played the strawman character meant to represent the Punisher and other gritty heroes that were popular in the 90's for their gritty natures and willingness to kill in the name of justice. After Kingdom Come he appeared once in a sort of follow up about a year later and then was never mentioned again.

But Geoff Johns has never met an idea from the 90's he didn't think should be reintroduced into the story 15 years later. And with that, Magog entered into mainstream continuity as the ULTIMATE LEGACY CHARACTER. Specifically the JSA is rounding up legacy heroes and decides to include FDR's great-grandson. He's got an alien weapon welded to him due to an accident, so it's not entirely unjustified, although why did he have to be a direct descendant of FDR? BECAUSE GEOFF JOHNS, that's why. (Although wouldn't it have been hilarious if the dude preferred to be remembered as the great-grandson of Eleanor Roosevelt?) Anyway, he's a hero and soldier, so he's got no qualms about killing for the right cause and then BAM, Gog shows up and uberpowerful god-like being who transforms the young man into Magog and OMG!!! KINGDOM COME!!! REMEMBER THAT?!!! GEOFF JOHNS LOVES HISTORY!!! So yeah, that's how Magog showed up in the mainstream continuity as a member of the JSA. During a time when Geoff Johns had written it so that the Starman and Superman from Kingdom Come had joined the JSA. Awkward!

Oh, and then Max Lord mad Magog blow off his own head with his power staff. And that's how Magog left the mainstream continuity. Violently. Because he was a Geoff Johns character and they have to die violently because Geoff Johns.

AND THEY MADE A TOY OF HIM! Now I could pretend that I got this Magog figure because I have fond memories of Kingdom Come, but I can't. Now when I think of this character I don't think of Kingdom Come. What I think of is the great-grandson of FDR Wearing that ridiculous armor without a shirt turning his power staff to blow off his own head because he was being mind-controlled. FDR's GREAT GRANDCHILD. You know, one of these guys.

Yeah, think about that and tell me the Watchmen prequels won't affect how you see the original story.

Episode 28: Articulated Monster Publishing

We recorded a new episode of the Articulated Monster Podcast!

Feel free to send us questions by replying to this post or e-mailing us at articulatedmonster@yahoo.com

Comic Book Club - Ghoulia Yelps

No, I haven't picked up any Monster High figures yet. I just bought this clothing pack.

Why? Because it has the accessories from the SDCC Monster High exclusive Cosplay Ghoulia Yelps figure. If you remember, that set featured the Zombie girl dressed up like her favorite Zombie Superhero "Deadfast" and featured her geek accessories of an original fan-fic, an action figure, and a swag bag.

Well this clothing pack expands on that idea, and has Ghoulia's clothing for when she's part of the Comic Book Club. (It's part of the theme of Extra-Curicular Activities clothing sets.) It features her t-shirt with comic book logo on it, an action figure of Deadfast in scale to the line complete with removable card so you can pretend Ghoulia collects MIB or is an open and play collector,  a comic book of Deadfast, and clothing that I assume is color coordinated as a fashion conscious zombie who is into comic books can be. So, you know, geek pride and all that.

Oh hey, they made a cartoon about it featuring Ghoulia fantasizing about being a superhero at Leper-Con.



Whoops, now I'm just watching these things for the fun of it. They made the Abominable Snowgirl into a Eastern European cold hearted Uber-woman, complete with over the top Soviet style deep pitched accent. And the Phantom of the Opera/Banshee's a rockabilly girl from New Orleans with tattoos and a Swing Dance sense of style. Hilarious. Monster High: Getting young girls indocrinated to counterculture.

HOLY CRAP, one of the characters is a living lifesize Voodoo Doll of another student. So every time he gets hurt the other student gets hurt! That's genius!

And I'm beginning to really love the synergy of the cartoon in the way that any new character, accessory set, or dress theme is eventually shown in the cartoon. Sleepover themed dolls? They have a sleepover. One of the doll is dressed for gym? And episode where they wear gym clothes. Hell, even the Build-Your Own monster figures are featured in background shots.

German Hello Kitty

I don't buy toys from Urban Outifitters very often. They usually only have vinyl blind pack figures that I consider way too overpriced for a blind pack. ($10... no.) But every now and then they clearance out some and they get to a price low enough for me to justify buying one. Especially when some other person has gone through them and opened them so I actually know what I'm paying for.

Which is why I was okay with paying $2 for this Hello Kitty from the Hello Kitty International series. It's the German. And if there's something that's going to amuse me to no end, it's a German version of Hello Kitty dressed in lederhosen. The only thing that would have made it better is if she was holding a stein full of beer.

Seriously, look at how awesome that is. LOOK AT IT! GERMAN HELLO KITTY DEMANDS IT! SCHAUEN SIE SICH DEN GLORREICHEN HELLO KITTY!

Stuff I saw at Toys R Us

So I spotted some weird stuff when I looked at Toys R Us.

Hulk with jowls!

Batman using the Imaginext space armor!

Lego speech balloons for minifigures . I actually thought about getting one of these since it comes with 24 balloons and a minifig. But then I remembered I can do the same thing with MS Paint and I can't imagine needing to show off dialogue to people who visit my apartment and look at my minifigs in person.

Peri and Sharaz Jek

So the first of the Classic Series Companions that Character Options made a toy of was Peri. The second was Leela.

So obviously the third figure of Classic Companions is... Peri. And the fourth is Leela. Wow, they're not even trying to pretend they're hardcore into parts and head reuse. To be fair the new Peri figure does have a new upper torso, but the head and everything below the waist are simple repaints. You can even see the sculpting for a belt beneath the pink paint. I also think its funny how

Can I just say the pose they've got Sharaz Jek's hands in make him look like an action figure from the 70's. This is probably heightened by the costume design, which is essentially all black with an exposed hand and a mask with a little white on it. Fortunately he has the newer Doctor Who Classic figures ball joint hips, so he's not as vanilla a figure as he would first seem.

The figure also come with Jek's hideously deformed face as an alternate head. There's also a head of one of his androids, but since it isn't designed to be an alternate head and none of the figures can hold it, I guess it's meant to lay at someone's feet. Kinda a lame accessory. The alternate head is cool though.